I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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