I think my fart just growled at me.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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