So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
