sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
