people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
