my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
