Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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