i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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