Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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