clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Text me some of your sweat
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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