Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
