so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
