Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
