are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
