I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
