So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
