Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
