All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
this just has baby written all over it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
