What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
