you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
