i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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