no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
