Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
