How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's no shave November. This is our time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
