I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
