Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
