She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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