Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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