She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
