dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
