Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
