So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
