How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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