look no pants
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
