Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
