This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think a kid would responsible me up
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
