Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
