So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
