he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
