3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
