There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
