I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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