i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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