the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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