I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
