I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
