Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
