u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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