you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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