I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
