pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
