just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
